FUNNY How Time Flies!

Fried eggs anyone?

It's hard to believe that in 12 days it will be exactly 1 year since my surgery, but more importantly... 1 year of being cancer free!  And we have a fun celebration planned.  Oh and for those that are new, I had a bilateral total mastectomy and sentinel node removal without reconstruction.  In other words, I'm flat as board.  More info in my Breast Cancer Survivor tab.

Before I go on, let me explain the pic above... and my humor for those who don't know me.  We went to Portland in June to visit my boys (awesome visit!).  There was a Goodwill store at the end of the street where we were staying.  I love and shop in second hand stores. Anyway, I spotted pink and when I pulled the shirt off the rack (rack... that's funny!)  I about doubled over with laughter!  Ha ha ha... fried eggs on the front!  Perfect!

There's more to this story.  It just so happened that the next day, Saturday June 29th, while we were enjoying Portland weather, everyone back home in Arizona was dealing with a toasty 119 degrees that day!  The hottest day I experienced was 122 back in 1990.  Fun day - not.  So I wore my pink shirt in honor of everyone frying eggs on the sidewalk that day and posted it on Facebook.

Get your melons!

Yes, I'll be getting back to my 1 year 'cancerversary' plans soon, but since I'm on the humor train...

True story.  I got me a pair of nice melons on sale for .48c at Sprouts!  Mark hasn't had melons in a long time so I figured I would give him a treat.

Ba-dum-bump. 

Perfect!  by Tales of a Broken Boobie

 

I'm guessing some of you may be thinking "OMG, breast cancer is not funny!" or "having your boobs removed is not funny!"...etc.  Trust me, I'm not making fun of breast cancer, any other cancer or anyone dealing with this ugly disease.  I'm also a melanoma survivor, among other life altering crud, so I know many roads of emotions.  Basically with all the crap I have been through in my life I have always used humor.  As cliché as this may sound, humor truly is good medicine.  Maybe not for everyone, but it certainly works for me.  Oh and no I'm not masking anything or hiding my 'true feelings'.  This is just a part of who I am. 

Me and Mark - my soul mate - the love of my life - my very best friend - my hubby

Okay now back to our big simple plans for our cancerversary trip.  I say "our" because Mark has been by my side from day one of our close to 20 years together and has never ever flinched.

We are going to our Happy Place - Sedona that is.  Yes, we call it our happy place as that is where we used to go when we needed a break from the craziness of life and to rejuvenate.  In fact, we used to go there a couple times a year, then once a year and then crud/life happened.  We haven't been there for the past couple years or so for a variety of reasons, not just because of breast cancer.  So what better place to celebrate this first year of being cancer-free than beautiful, peaceful, and mesmerizing Sedona!  Our Happy Place.

I'll save the rest of our plans for another post before we go as for now I need to get into the kitchen and uncook our dinner. 

I can almost feel the happy vortex vibes now!

Peace,
Rocki

Nasty Happy Rock



Happy Rock

I came across this pic while going through my folders and once again, laughed out loud!

This was taken when we were at the Tucson Gem Show in 2011.  I took several pics of this, um, unusual specimen in various angles and this was the best one showing how, um, well, you get the idea I'm sure.

Call it my twisted humor or simply not sleeping through the night and being up since 3:30 this morning.  In any case, it's still funny.

Ok...maybe it's just me.

Peace,
Rocki

The lighter side of doing monthly breast checks

If this doesn't get you motivated to do your monthy breast checks...

well...

just sayin ;-)

 

Please make sure to watch over and over and over...to make sure you get the idea.

 

Peace,

Rocki

Friday Funny

Bobbitt Family Update:

In a recent news broadcast, it was announced that Lorena Bobbitt's sister Louella was arrested for an alleged attempt to perform the same act on her husband as her famous sister had done several years ago. Sources reveal the sister was not as accurate as Lorena.

She allegedly missed the target and stabbed her husband in the upper thigh causing severe muscle and tendon damage. The husband is reported to be in serious, but stable condition.

Louella has been charged with...

?

WAIT FOR IT...

?

WAIT FOR IT...

?

WAIT FOR IT...

A Misdewiener!

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Come on, you know darn well you're going to pass this one!

(hubby sent this to me today, had to share)

Happy Friday!

Rocki

Pretty Pink Flowers!

Okay. Yes, I like pink. I used to dislike pink actually, but as you can see that is now not the case.

Mark surprised me with these pretty pink flowers for my birthday! Maybe because they matched the pink in my hair perhaps? I just LOVE them! I mean, they are the prettiest pink flowers I've seen in a long time and I just had to take pictures of them.

Jeremy & Jason will just love me for taking this shot of the flowers - those are one of their high school pictures. I have TONS of pictures, as you could imagine. I also keep cards I receive, especially from my boys - Mark too of course! The ones on my dresser mirror from my boys are quite funny - they are such the comedians :) Oh and yes, that is "Rocky & Bullwinkle" in the background. Their hands are bound together as they are life partners... no, not in a kinky way - sheesh!

I know, this isn't about my pretty pink flowers, but my princess Sasha's tongue is pink! LOL! She likes to be on our bed when I do the laundry, to take naps, and watches me when I take pictures of my work. I don't know why, but whenever I get the camera and she hears the sound it makes when I turn it on, she's RIGHT THERE! This shot cracked me up - a total surprise because she was sitting still and as soon as I took the pic she yawned! Or maybe she's trying to tell me something?

That's it for today. I'm trying to get back into the blog world, but work is keeping me pretty busy. Speaking of, I need to head into the studio now.

Happy day everyone!
Rocki

Friday Funny - Top Ten Country Western Songs

Top Ten Country Western Songs:

10. I Hate Every Bone in Her Body but Mine

9. I Ain't Never Gone to Bed With an Ugly Woman but I've Woke Up With a Few

8. If The Phone Don't Ring, You'll Know It's Me

7. I've Missed You, But My Aim's Improvin'

6. I Wouldn't Take Her to a Dogfight Even if I Thought She Could Win

5. I'm so Miserable Without You It's Like You're Still Here

4. My Wife Ran Off with My Best Friend and I Miss Him

3. She Took My Ring and Gave Me the Finger

2. She Gets Better Lookin' with Every Beer

And the Number One Country & Western song is...

1. It's Hard to Kiss the Lips at Night That Chewed My Ass All Day


Thought a little humor would be a fun way to start the weekend :)
Rocki

A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started."

Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"

The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster."

Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle.

She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.

He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says,

"First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster."

He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then," he said with a deep sigh...

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"Let's put all the Corn Flakes back in the box."

Okay, now for any blondes out there please forgive me, but hey, I'm blonde! Hair color only that is :) Oh and this very funny joke that made me laugh until I cried was sent to me by my lovely friend Deb.

******

Vacation update: My shop is already in "Vacation Mode" while I finish up a couple more orders and then we leave for California in a couple days. I'm SOOOO excited! I'll have my laptop with me and plan on blogging and/or tweeting while there.

Peace, Love & Happiness,

Rocki

Driving Miss Sasha or "Ruff" - Pick it up Mom

Most of you know we have 3 four-legged kids right along side our 4 two-legged kids. Yogi, Maelyn & Sasha. Yes, I admit our 4-legged kids may be a tad spoiled and have just a "few" more toys than the boys, but they are all loved the same - no matter what the boys say.

Above we're coming back from the day spa - pet groomer that is. No they do not go to a day spa, that's just what I call it for fun. Sasha loves to drive, but we do not let her go out on her own - can't afford the insurance.

Sasha, a Yorkie Maltese, is our youngest and well, is our little Princess. Okay, and maybe just a smidgen more spoiled than the rest. She has a very sweet personality, lovable, is VERY smart, smiles a lot, loves to play, rough house around with Maelyn, can give some nasty looks if not pleased, and has the CUTEST little bark. In fact, it is a "ruff", a cute and adorable sounding "ruff". She also has me wrapped around her little paw. Just a smidgen that is.

Yes, I know, the pic above looks simply innocent. Well, I have to tell you it is NOT. I'll TRY to sum this up... All 3 of the kids get their lunch & snack "cookies" at the same time each day. Mainly because Sasha comes to get me either with her cute little "ruff", her loving look or simply whines to let me know it is their snack time - and to hustle.

After we go through our routine, they all take off with their snack in different directions - Sasha goes down the hall to the back bedroom, where a few times a week the cookie, I thought, falls out of her mouth and she waits for me to pick it up again so she can take it out of my hand. She won't pick it up otherwise. Well. I THOUGHT the cookie "accidentally" fell out.

One day I just happened to look up while Sasha was trotting off with her goods and "poof", she spit out the cookie! I was floored, shocked more like it! She did it on purpose! She turned around and looked at me as if to say, "well, come on mom, pick it up for me, you know the drill." Then she just looks at the cookie until I do. I had to laugh at this and then called Mark to tell him. He finally witnessed this for himself. It cracks me up still today and YES, she still does it.

Oh and about the "nasty" looks... this is one of them. We returned from the "day spa" one afternoon in which a bow was in her hair. Sasha does NOT like bows in her hair. Well, it was sticking straight up like Pebbles, from the Flintstones and all I could do was laugh, but kept telling her how cute she was. She didn't buy it. When we got home I finally removed the bow and she let me know how happy she was NOT.

Is this little girl loved? Most definitely. Are all our kids loved. That's a big 10-4. Is this little girl spoiled beyond belief and has mom (and dad too no matter what he says) wrapped around her little paw. Maybe just a smidgen.

"ruff, ruff, RUFF!" What's that Sasha? Oh I'm sorry, mommy's on her way!

Happy ruff Monday!

Rocki

Thursday's Chuckle

This morning Mark sent me this little funny story that he received at work. It made me chuckle so thought I would pass it on. Besides, we could all use a little humor!

The Buttocks

A married couple was in a terrible accident where the man's face was severely burned.

The doctor told the husband that they could not graft any skin from his body because he was too skinny.

So the wife offered to donate some of her own skin.

However, the only skin on her body that was suitable would have to come from her buttocks.

The husband and wife both agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from and they requested the doctor also honor their secret.

After all, this was a very delicate matter.

After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the man's new face.

He looked more handsome than he ever had before!

All his friends and family went on and on about his youthful beauty.

One day, he was alone with his wife, and he was overcome with emotion at her sacrifice.

He said, "Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. How can I possibly repay you?"

"My darling," she replied, "I get all the thanks I ever need

every time I see your mother

kiss you on the cheek."

Tee hee hee,
Rocki

This studs for you!

Yippie, yahoo and all that jazz - it's FRIDAY!!! That makes me a little giddy because it's been a long hard week for me - a good one mind you, but a very busy one and I'm looking forward to the weekend. Plus it's Jason's birthday, my youngest son, and we're celebrating at Mimi's Cafe.

Anyway, back to the studs. Helloooooo, I'm down here. HELLLooooooo? Eyes down here please...

I truly have SO much that I want to blog about, fun stuff, cute stuff and just chit-chat stuff, but as I mentioned, I've been quite happily busy. So, thought I would share another item that.... hello? (clears throat) HELLOOOOO?! I'm down HERE everyone... eyes down here now.

Sheesh.

Sweet Studs is what came to mind when... excuuuuuuuse me? Can you reach over to the scroll button and hop on down here for a minute? The stud above isn't even real - I mean, come on, look at him! Errrr, never mind, just follow me.

Now this stud is rather cute and adorable, but not exactly something I could add to my shop. I did have a Buckskin Mare and a Shetland pony growing up though.

Studs? Car parts, boy toys, found in drawers all over the house, "can't have too many tools", etc. Nope. These are not the studs I'm referring to either.

Um, ladies? You're drooling all over your keyboards. That's not pretty.

Awe. Here we are! My new Sweet Studs. Yes, I know, these are nothing new. A stud is a stud is a stud. EYES DOWN HERE PEOPLE!

I love studs and wear them in at least one of my ear holes, usually the top. Sometimes in all of them. These studs have a cute round shiny ball and.... the earring studs people, come on now, grow up!

I better end it here because this post is going south. Now STOP it you guys!

Happy Sweet Friday,

Rocki

Unbelievable - Perfect Balance!

Yesterday I was working on just a few ear wires (getting better!) and the most unbelievable thing happened - totally freaked me out! While looking through my huge lighted tabletop magnifying glass, holding my little gold hoop in one hand and filing it with the other, I lost my grip and it fell out of my hand.

I looked through the glass and nothing. Where did it go? I figured it landed somewhere on my bench or on the floor perhaps. So I moved away from the table and there it was - STANDING UP! FREAKED me out!

I was giddy with the thought of this perfect balancing act and trying to figure out how in the heck it happened. I started to get excited, even giggling and didn't want to move it, but I needed the space. I needed proof of this bizarre ear wire that fell onto my work board standing straight up!

Should I call Oprah, Ellen or David Letterman? Maybe Funniest Home Video's (are they even still on the air?) Where the heck is our video camera! Hmm, was I on Candid Camera perhaps? I was afraid to breathe, so I gently backed away from the table, picked up my cell phone and took a couple pictures.

I needed better photos, so I slowly got up to go get my camera from the other room. Came back and it was STILL STANDING! I swear, I was laughing out loud at this point because it was so weird! How did it do this? How could a single little ear wire fall out of my hands and land standing up like that? My board is polyurethane, not like it's velcro or has big divots in it. For the most part, it's fairly smooth.

After taking a few photos, I finally had to move the ear wire. All I did was barely touch it and poof, it fell over. Made me sad.

Funny thing about this strange happening is lately, due to my wrists, I've been trying to find balance. Balance that would continue to allow me to be productive with my work as well as have my own personal time. Is this a sign? If so, what the heck does it mean?

Happy Freaky Friday!

Rocki

p.s. The doctor's office called, it's NOT Carpal Tunnel! (does happy dance) Now more tests to see what's up, but I'll be back to work on the 11th!

Friday Funny!

I'm sharing this funny joke with you, thanks to my sweet friend Deb.

A woman was sitting at a bar enjoying an after work cocktail with her girlfriends when Steven, a tall, exceptionally handsome, extremely sexy, middle-aged man entered.

He was so striking that the woman could not take her eyes off him.

This seasoned yet playful heartthrob, noticed her overly attentive stare and walked directly towards her (as any man would). Before she could offer her apologies for staring so rudely, he leaned over and whispered to her...

"I'll do anything, absolutely anything you want me to do, no matter how kinky, for $20, on one condition..."

Flabbergasted, but intrigued, the woman asked what the condition was. The man replied "you have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words."

The woman considered his proposition for a moment, then slowly pulled out a $20 bill from her purse, which she pressed into the man's hand with her address.

She looked deeply and passionately into his eyes, barely concealing her anticipation and excitement, and slowly and meaningfully said... "clean my house."

LOL! Love this one Deb - thank you!
Happy Friday everyone :)
Rocki

p.s. no news yet as a Neuro has to read the results first.

One Eyed, One Horned, Flying...

PURPLE PEOPLE EATER!!

For my friend Carol... here you go!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X9H_cI_WCnE&feature=related

Love,
Rocki

They're coming to take me away...

It's been a little crazy lately and no time to blog really, so I leave you with a video of one my favorite songs from years ago.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hnzHtm1jhL4

Happy Manic Monday ;)
Rocki

She DID! She did she did I tell ya!

LOL! My sweet sweet friend and sis at heart Sharon (ManaMoon) left a surprise for me this morning. She thought I would REALLY look good with turquoise hair as she knows how much I LOVE that color!

I could barely see through the tears from laughing so hard when I found the little present she left me. I just had to share this very funny photo with everyone! You are just WAY too funny Sis!

Love ya big time!

Rocki

(Move over Pink, Turquoise Rocki is here!)

The Good, The Bad & The REAL Bad

Mean Sissy

"She's a big sister. She hugs her little brother really, really hard. Sometimes she holds his little hand so tightly his knuckles pop. What can she say? Sometimes love hurts".

Did that tickle your funny bone? Are you snickering at least a little? Are you rolling over with laughter? Do you need to excuse yourself? I about fell off my chair when reading the descriptions for these "Quirky folk art dolls in the primitive style" from Gravel Alley Primatives (pocomedio's) Etsy Shop.

I came across this shop one day from one of my Team ESST member's blogs. Let me tell you, just looking at these "rag stuffed for that old time, heavy, lumpity bumpity" handmade dolls, will make you smile - and then wet your pants after reading the descriptions! Like this one:

She bites when mom's not looking

"Keep hands and feet clear. She doesn't have much to say but she has teeth like a shark. She loves to wait until mom's making a left turn into heavy traffic before she sinks her teeth into her baby brother's shoulder. When he learns to talk, she's in trouble. "

Just one more doll to share with you then whether you are in need of a smile, chuckle or laugh until you... well, cry? You MUST go check out her shop. You won't regret it. Promise.

Menopausal Matriarch

"Stand back. She's gettin' ready to sweat. Her change of life is in full swing and if you say one more thing she may help you slip into something more comfortable, like a coma."

Oh, and the Menopausal Matriarch? Stand back... she's mine! Yup, just bought her. I can hear Mark laughing right now. Or is that the laugh of fear wondering what it will be like with two of of us in the same house?

Happy Friday,
Rocki

From our family to yours...

Happy Halloween!

I hope everyone has a safe & enjoyable Halloween. We'll be sitting out side watching all the kids go through our neighbors haunted house that they set up and passing out candy to all the little goblins.

Before I go for the weekend, I leave you with some Halloween humor:

- How do you tell twin witches apart?

Actually, you can't tell which witch is which.

- What did 3 vampires order at the bar?

Two bloods and a blood light.

- What is a vampires favorite ice cream?

Veinella.

- Did you hear about the new Dracula doll?

Wind it up and it bites Barbie on the neck.

- What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boojeans.

- What do you get when you goose a ghost?

A handful of sheet!

- What did one ghost whisper to the other ghost?

I see people.

Haaaaaaappy Halloweeeeeeen!

Rocki

Shhhhh! I've been TAGGED!

I was going to have a cute little picture, but for some reason my PSP decided to freeze up on me. No, this is not a sign of how today is going to go (repeats to self).

The end of last week I was tagged by my very sweet & dear friend, Sharon (Mana Moon) who shared her heart with us so openly and lovingly that it only strengthened our friendship - makes me proud to call her my friend.

Anyway, I'm supposed to share six secrets about myself and then "tag" five others. Although I do have some deep rooted secrets, I cannot bear to see them in print, so I will share some others with you. No, I'm not an ax murderer, drunk, druggie, ex-con, or anything of that nature. They are just some old secrets that basically shaped my life and made me the strong person I am today. Hence my name: Rocki (insert theme music here)

So without further ado, here are my 'secrets' although some are not so secret, but rather things you may not know about me:

1. I do not like 'chick flics' or mother/daughter flics - they are just too sappy for me . I will, however, watch some 'chic flics' as long as they are not TOO sappy. Without explaining in detail, I didn't have the 'normal' mother/daughter relationship and watching these kinds of movies are painful.

2. I had an invisible friend when I was a child. His name was "Way-Way" - yeah I know, don't ask me why I named him this, don't have a clue! My parents told me that I blamed Way-Way for coloring all over my bedroom walls, tearing down my curtains (which BTW he DID!), I wouldn't eat unless a place setting was set for Way-Way... you get the idea. He is my, er I mean WAS, my best friend. (don't worry Way-Way, I won't let them find you!)

3. I'm afraid of the dark, but love to watch thrillers. Not the blood & gut killing type, just real good suspense movies that make you sit on the edge of your seat.

4. I'm still afraid of the boogieman (hmm, maybe that has to do with the above). If I have to get up during the night, I practically take a running leap back into bed for fear of someone grabbing me from under the bed - even though I know NObody is under there. Hmm. My boys used to jump out of closets to scare me, grab my legs from under the bed (my sister too!) and things of this nature. I wonder...

5. When I was younger I wished I were black. Yep, black. I was SO embarrassed to be a white person back then because of how racist so many people were that it angered me even as a child and I didn't want to be white. It's unfortunate that this type of ignorance still exists in many ways today: skin color, religion, being gay, lesbian, etc. I just don't get it and I wish with all my heart that one day people will just get past all this racist crap.

6. I am and always will be a forever young flower child. Okay, so this one is not so much a secret. I do not mind my age, I'll be 48 (on paper) in December, but 20 something in my heart. My body just doesn't know it sometimes. I'll be wearing little sun dresses, blue jeans & tank tops well into my 80's, if I live that long.

It's hard to pick 5 people, but since I have to - OH! Don't worry, you don't have to do this if you don't want to:

Scribbles of an Ancient Soul - my new blog buddy :)

Heart of a Cowgirl - very talented gal!

Rainbows & Sunshine - LOVE this blog & gal!

What I Made Today - inspiration blog - a must read!

In The Shadows - very cool gal & awesome blog!

So there we have it. Some of my little secrets out in the open. Oh and Laura, bet you NEVER thought I would let Way-Way out of the bag... ooooh, wait! One more... Laura's nick-name is P... P... okay, I won't say it, but I sure WANT to!

Happy Monday everyone!
Rocki

Guaranteed Weight Loss Program

I told you there would be 'after' pictures, so here they are. Yep, silver smiles hasn't been smiling so much this week. This has been an experience, to say the least. By Sharon's calculations I only have to wear the braces 3 days! Yippee! Oh... wait. Darn it! That's 3 days off of the 2 years - you do the math.

Without going into all the nitty-gritty details, having the braces put on truly wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. Having your mouth stretched open like the grand canyon, your tongue trapped by a piece of plastic, hands in and out of your mouth, a mini hose sucking out your... oh, sorry - it really wasn't all that bad.

The worst part about this is due to my bite, they had to build 2 cement cone looking things to bite down on instead of my teeth. So it's a bite, I mean bit difficult to chew because I bite down on those cone things and no other teeth - for 2 months. Kind of looks like a subdued vampire. I would have taken close-ups of that part, but I didn't want to loose all my blog buddies.

If you need to loose weight, try braces. You don't want to eat because it feels like razors in your mouth with every bite and then you have to brush your teeth afterwards. Oh yes, I'm a big tooth brushing fan, but now it takes an hour (okay, not that long, but close ;) because of what all you have to do. I have actually lost 2lbs and I really don't want to loose anymore.

Hey, if you want your spouse to tone down the talking, give them braces. I'm not NEAR as talkative as I usually am and Mark seems to be enjoying it (he's kidding... I think). Ha. I should serve him my mashed tators, minced pancakes and salad soup tonight!

Enough about that. One more little photo to share with you. My dear sweet friend Sharon sent a revised photo of my sparkling smile now. She said that the tooth fairy sent it to her. Hmm. Riiiiiight Sharon ;)

Oh yes. Plus I'm still getting used to having metal in my mouth, so my speech sounds hilarious. I won't repeat what my sweet & innocent sister told me I sound like.

And I was excited about this? Oh well, I only have 2 more years left... minus 3 days.

SMILES!

☼ Rocki

CrAzY SqUiRrEl oN tHe LoOsE!

I would be cautious if I were you and DON'T get too close because you just don't know what I'm capable of!

The CrAzInEsS is running rampant throughout my entire shop! It's uncontrollable! It's darn right SCARY!

All this CrAzInEsS started one year ago (okay okay, so it started years ago) when I opened my first Etsy shop (all thanks to my dear sweet friend Janell of "Dancing Mooney"). My goal, as little as it may seem, was to have 100 sales by August 11th, 2008. I made my goal last week!

To celebrate my 100th sale and my 1st year on Etsy, I'm having a CrAzY 25% off everything in my shop this weekend and through Monday! Read my Shop Announcement for details.

So before I go completely mad, tell your friends, family, co-workers, etc. to stop by and take a peak at my shop - don't worry, I've had all my shots.

Where is all the CrAzInEsS at? Rocki's Rock 'n Beads.

I'm not crazy, I was just born that way. Wait a minute... that doesn't sound right. Oh look! Some cute guys are coming my way all dressed in white! Gotta go now.

Have a fun weekend!
Rocki

p.s. my handcrafted supply shop isn't on sale, but I am adding new goodies to it, so feel free to stop on by Rocki's Supplies. Oh, and of course my sister's awesome shop Any Occasion Boutique