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| Me - last month |
Guess it’s been a while since my last update to my Open
Journal, so here it is. Time flies when
you’re rock'n life!
I had my 3rd post-op appointment in November and got the green light. Next visit will be later next year. Healing is progressing on track and doc said to give it another 9 months or so to completely heal. Wow, I cannot believe how long this takes! Don’t get me wrong, I’m doing AWESOME, but just amazed at all the stuff you have to go through. Oh and in case anyone is reading this and has no idea what I’m talking about… I had a Total Bilateral Mastectomy without reconstruction in August. You can read more info in the tab above.
- The long ugly mastectomy scars have gone from angry red puffers to semi-angry pink, and getting smaller a smidgen at a time.
- The 61 staple scars are slowly disappearing.
- Still have numbness in a few areas, which may or may not completely resolve.
- Have mild residual discomfort that comes and goes. Can’t really call it pain now.
- The creepy crawly stuff has stopped – THAT was so freaky! That was from all the nerve endings trying to figure what the heck happened.
- The ‘lumpiness’ (as I call it) around my chest is starting to flatten out more.
- Right side (nodes were removed on that side) is my pain in the @#! side. I have a big lump area there (not lymphedema) that looks and feels swollen, especially by the end of the work day or when using it too much. I can work just fine and do many things, but still have to be careful lifting, etc. too heavy of anything on the right side.
I can’t wear snug or close under-the-arm fitting type tops. Hard to explain, but it causes pain there. I’m most comfortable in tank tops and sun dresses anyway, so that works. Sometimes I just drop my arm out of the right side as it’s more comfortable - then I resemble Tarzan. Make that Jane instead.
I am happy that I’m finally off estrogen, which I was instructed to do so asap from the beginning of this. The side effects from that was pretty wicked, but I was able to handle it better than expected and am totally fine now. However, while I still get them (not as bad now) the sudden hot flashes drove me nuts. Made me practically strip and stick my head in the freezer – lol!
Some people have asked me what type of tops I wear and if I’m going to get one of those mastectomy bras or prosthesis. Nope. I’m happy as I am in my own skin and no, I do not wear a bra (nothing to put in it). And no, I do not wear big baggy clothes. I wear tanks tops/dress, summer spaghetti tops/dresses… pretty much clothing that is light, comfortable, and not confining.
I don’t mean for this to sound rude, but I don’t care what people/society say about women must have breasts. I’m not dressing to please people. With that said, not a day goes by that I don’t get stares wherever I go. Most people just notice me and then go about their business. Some look at me and smile and others with maybe concern. I always smile at them to show I’m happy. However, I’ve had two surprisingly unpleasant experiences, which floored me. I won’t go into details now, but the first time was by two teenage girls in Blockbuster and the second time was just this past Friday at Sprouts – by a couple in their late 20’s or early 30’s standing next to me at the checkout. THAT one almost made me cry, but instead it ticked me off more than anything. Some people can be so mean… and ignorant.
I had my 3rd post-op appointment in November and got the green light. Next visit will be later next year. Healing is progressing on track and doc said to give it another 9 months or so to completely heal. Wow, I cannot believe how long this takes! Don’t get me wrong, I’m doing AWESOME, but just amazed at all the stuff you have to go through. Oh and in case anyone is reading this and has no idea what I’m talking about… I had a Total Bilateral Mastectomy without reconstruction in August. You can read more info in the tab above.
- The long ugly mastectomy scars have gone from angry red puffers to semi-angry pink, and getting smaller a smidgen at a time.
- The 61 staple scars are slowly disappearing.
- Still have numbness in a few areas, which may or may not completely resolve.
- Have mild residual discomfort that comes and goes. Can’t really call it pain now.
- The creepy crawly stuff has stopped – THAT was so freaky! That was from all the nerve endings trying to figure what the heck happened.
- The ‘lumpiness’ (as I call it) around my chest is starting to flatten out more.
- Right side (nodes were removed on that side) is my pain in the @#! side. I have a big lump area there (not lymphedema) that looks and feels swollen, especially by the end of the work day or when using it too much. I can work just fine and do many things, but still have to be careful lifting, etc. too heavy of anything on the right side.
I can’t wear snug or close under-the-arm fitting type tops. Hard to explain, but it causes pain there. I’m most comfortable in tank tops and sun dresses anyway, so that works. Sometimes I just drop my arm out of the right side as it’s more comfortable - then I resemble Tarzan. Make that Jane instead.
I am happy that I’m finally off estrogen, which I was instructed to do so asap from the beginning of this. The side effects from that was pretty wicked, but I was able to handle it better than expected and am totally fine now. However, while I still get them (not as bad now) the sudden hot flashes drove me nuts. Made me practically strip and stick my head in the freezer – lol!
Some people have asked me what type of tops I wear and if I’m going to get one of those mastectomy bras or prosthesis. Nope. I’m happy as I am in my own skin and no, I do not wear a bra (nothing to put in it). And no, I do not wear big baggy clothes. I wear tanks tops/dress, summer spaghetti tops/dresses… pretty much clothing that is light, comfortable, and not confining.
I don’t mean for this to sound rude, but I don’t care what people/society say about women must have breasts. I’m not dressing to please people. With that said, not a day goes by that I don’t get stares wherever I go. Most people just notice me and then go about their business. Some look at me and smile and others with maybe concern. I always smile at them to show I’m happy. However, I’ve had two surprisingly unpleasant experiences, which floored me. I won’t go into details now, but the first time was by two teenage girls in Blockbuster and the second time was just this past Friday at Sprouts – by a couple in their late 20’s or early 30’s standing next to me at the checkout. THAT one almost made me cry, but instead it ticked me off more than anything. Some people can be so mean… and ignorant.
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| Floral Handkerchief Bandeau Bikini Top (at Candie's) |
I just have to
share this bathing suit! Yes I know, it’s
December… but I came across this and fell in love with that top and I want it! That’s all, just wanted to share.
Wow… guess I had a lot to say this go around. I’ll stop here and will update again sooner
than later. I’ll also have more pics
down the road.
Happiness everyone!
Peace,
Rocki
Rocki
