Bilateral Total Mastectomy Recovery - Day 10

My open diary update.

 

It’s been 10 days since my surgery and while recovery is going well, the past 3 days have been a little rough – physically speaking.  Guess that is to be expected.  However, I really think that if I hadn’t had such a horrible allergic reaction to the meds in the hospital that I would be doing even better. It took forever to flush that crud from my body.  Can’t complain though, it could be worse.  Much worse.

 

After the drainage tubes were removed on day 6 post surgery I felt so free!  I called them my ‘alien tentacles’ because, well, I felt like an alien with those long clear tubes coming out of each side of my body draining into a bulb pouch at the end.  It was fun showering with them (not) and getting dressed (not) and sleeping (not) and… well, you get the idea.   So very thankful that Mark helped with that part, as he has with every other aspect of this life event.

 

While I’m still mentally okay with everything, physically I’m drained.  Thursday I was feeling pretty good so I did a little laundry and other miscellaneous housework.  Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t zooming around by any means.  Oh no, not at all.  But I was feeling the urge to move, so I did – slowly.   I did a little of this, and then sat down.  Did a little of that, and then sat down.  Took a little nap (this has been a daily thing so far) and so on.  I even made dinner that night.  Okay, that’s a lie – sort of.  I stuck Mark’s Lean Cuisine and my GF/DF Mac-n-Cheese in the microwave.

 

Friday I was moving slow and wasn’t feeling very well.  Like I was getting sick.  I even took a few naps and still slept that night. Saturday morning I felt somewhat better so I went with Mark to do a little grocery shopping.  Halfway through – screeeeeech!  The rest of Saturday I pretty much spent in the recliner (where I’m still sleeping) and the couch (needed a different view).  Today has been up and down.  Drained, exhausted and lack energy.  To be honest, this bums me out.  But, I’ve been here before and just need to get through this hump with patience, gentleness and understanding.  Which I have and will overcome once again. 

 

There really isn’t ‘pain’ to speak of, it’s more like a soreness or bad bruise type of feeling, along with spasms here and there.  Sometimes more intense than not, but nothing to take a pain pill for.  Still have the tightness across the chest and arms, especially on the right.  Numbness in areas.  Range of motion is about 50%, but I’m working on that and have a printout of exercises to do, so that helps.  Appetite has been off and I've lost 4 pounds in 1 week.  Now I know what all was removed during surgery surely didn’t weigh that much.  Trust me.

 

Funny how I thought that I would be able to jump right back into work after this.  Obviously I’m not 100% ready, but I do feel that I’ll be able to do something.  So, I’m going to start working a little next week and see how I do.  I’m not rushing it as I’ll be at a MUCH slower pace, plus can’t handle a full day’s work yet anyway.  At least I was able to schedule the orders that I have received to date and update my customers – my very kind and patient customers – with their ship date.  And even though I still have a ton of sold and expired items that need to be relisted, I’m not stressed about it one little bit.  I’ll do that when I get more caught up.

 

So for the most part, despite how the above may sound, I am okay and truly doing much better than expected.  While I knew it wasn’t going to be a cake-walk, guess I just expected too much of myself too soon.

 

Peace, Rocki

Rocki vs Breast Cancer - TKO

Boy, so much to talk about in just these past few days, but I’ll *try* to condense.

 

Despite the fact that I’m still dealing with some nasty symptoms from the medicine reaction, not including from the actual surgery, my recovery is going better than expected.  Both Mark and I are really surprised, happily so.

 

Yesterday was my first post-op appointment and it was a good one.  Both drainage tubes were removed and let me just say this – THAT was a weird experience. Mark stood next to me and held my hand because to be honest, I think we were both expecting pain.  For me, I can’t say that it actually hurt as it was more of a burning stinging type sensation.  The tubes (one on each side) had one stitch each to keep it from falling out.  The doc clipped the stitch, said to relax and then pulled out the tube slowly.  The right one was first and it felt like a very long noodle coming out with a little stinging at the end.  Next was the left.  Same thing except it stung much worse and I think my eyes bugged out.  I am SO glad those are gone!

 

The zillion staples will be removed next Wednesday.  I look forward to that one.  I asked my doc about the swelling, etc., he said it’s normal, that I’m healing quite nicely and will know more of how I’ll actually look in about 6 months.  That works for me.

 

Now we come to the final pathology report.  The 3 Sentinel Nodes (I thought he took 2) that were removed for biopsy were clean - it did not spread there. (happy dance!).  However, there were several more areas found in my right breast than originally noted.  Lefty had a bunch of mumble jumble diagnosis with one being Periductal Chronic Inflammation and Fibrosis, but no cancer in that one.  The good news… ALL the cancer was removed and no other treatment needed.  TKO baby!

 

To celebrate, Mark took me to Starbucks.  That was a tasty treat!  It felt SO good to be out of the house.  Since he also had to make errand runs to banks, post office and the store, I decided to tag along.  So breast-free me and my honey had an enjoyable outing then back home to rest.  More like zonk out on my part.  In the store, Mark asked me how I felt about being out in public in my natural state.  While I did notice people look directly at my flat chest, honest to goodness it did not bother me.   I'm being completely honest here and not hiding anything, there would be no point in that, the only way to describe it is I felt free and happy.  Maybe I’m just weird, but that’s how I feel.

 

To sum up my “condensed” diary post, here’s a few highlights of my recovery status to date.  Again, I’m keeping track of this for myself and with hope that it helps others.  But if you're reading this, thank you, you're awesome!:

 

- While no chest muscle was removed, it will take time to strengthen that area and my arms, especially the right.  Never realized how much the chest muscle was used until now.

- Tightness, numbness and some odd healing sensations.

- Get tired easily, but that is expected right now (been there, done that).

- Working on range of motion.

- Plan on working on some studio orders next week, but s-l-o-w-l-y.

- Still can’t lie flat or recline on pillows in bed, so I'm still sleeping in recliner.

- My bum is numb.  Just sayin.

 

I’m starting to think that “condensed” is not in my vocabulary.

 

Peace, Rocki

 

p.s. - To all my dear customers: Thank you so much for your kind patience and working with me during this time!  Also, I have a TON of Sold and Expired items to relist, but will do that in the week or so to come.  Currently for new orders, my timeframe is *at least* 2 weeks or longer.  I'm also trying to catch up with messages, please bear with me.  I had no idea of the support I would receive.  I'll continue to update as I progress. Thank you all!

Reality Check - 3 days until surgery

While it’s true that I’m a strong person, I still have weak moments - and this weekend was one of them.  Call it the human factor - and lack of sleep.

I know what I’m facing with the upcoming surgery Thursday morning, but reality sort of hit me upside the head.  Well, I don’t know if I should actually call it ‘reality’ though.  It’s not like I don’t know what is going to happen as Mark and I have read SO much (and continue) about my diagnosis, Bilateral Total Mastectomy (without breast reconstruction) - from the procedure itself to, and after, recovery.  I honestly think what got me started was when I read about the sentinel node biopsy that the doc is also doing (due to multiple locations contained in my right breast).  Since I have to be there so early for the injection of the radioactive dye I thought that meant he was doing that first and THEN the mastectomy.  Helloooo… freak-out time!  Nope, he’s doing it during the mastectomy (wipes brow).  Been through one breast biopsy and do not want to do that again.

Mark thinks it all came to a head because the surgery is 3 days away and it finally sunk in, especially since it all happened so fast – 3 weeks to be exact from the find to surgery.  Even though he knows I’m okay about the outcome, as is he, it’s just the reality of it I guess.  With not much time to ponder and prepare for everything, it simply hit me is all. 

Still thinking it could be from lack of sleep. These 3:00am wake-up calls are getting old. Except last night it was 11:31. (h'm... ponders all the "3's")

Another part of my mini freak-out was my metalwork jewelry business.  What in the world am I going to do about my work and shops!  Yes, I know, I should not be the slightest bit concerned about that and focus purely my health – which I am truly doing as that is most important.  But, even though Mark works, my business is my livelihood and I so enjoy it.  This could be a whole blog topic in itself, so to try and sum it up - most of my work is online and trying to get your shop/items found via Google, etc. is a huge job in and of itself.  So, on top of all my hard work to build my successful business, I started worrying (yes, I admit it).  The thought of having to put my shops in ‘Vacation Mode’ – which means that I will be entirely invisible - sort of stressed me out.  Once taken out of VM it takes a good while for Google to pick you back up, so to speak.  So instead, I plastered my basic status all over the place – NOT for pity, but so that my awesome customers and potential customers know about when I’ll be back to work and will be at a slower pace at first. 

I understand there will be pain, etc., and that full recovery takes months up to a year and varies from person to person - as well as motivation and being able to stay positive. It also depends on the type of breast cancer, surgery, treatment, etc.  But mine was found early and as long as the SN biopsy comes back negative, I will be cancer-free and no other treatment necessary.  I think that’s pretty darn good considering what could have happened had I not gone to the doc when I did.

A final note for today... some people are concerned that I will be upset or in shock after surgery because I’m going to be ‘breast-free’, just to say it plain and simple.  I can honestly say that no I’m honestly not upset about that part as I guess I should be.  Of course I’d rather keep them, but it is what it is and I feel that is a small sacrifice to pay for my health.  Yes, I know there will be a variety of emotions, but I will be okay – I have an awesome support system near and far!  I'll save more of this topic for another post.

Peace and Love, Rocki