Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Tomorrow is a New Day and My Hubby Rocks!

2 years ago at my sisters 20th wedding anniversary
Tomorrow is the day.  The day that will forever change my life, but not for the worse because (crossing fingers) the cancer will be gone.  I KNOW it will be gone!
So why am I not nervous about or crying over the surgery or the soon to be loss of both my breasts and not having reconstruction?  I’ve gone over it in my head a zillion times and can’t figure it out.  I know I’m not ‘normal’, but seriously this is odd.  Mark gave me lots of compliments of why that is and without sounding vain, I kind of agree.  He rocks my world.

With Lucas at Ian's soccer game "did you see Ian score uncle Mark?!"
You know, a very sweet friend of mine said to me yesterday that I should be very thankful to have such a wonderful husband – and I truly am – beyond thankful actually.  Mark is not only my loving, caring and supporting husband, but is also my very best friend.  People who know us, know how we are.  We do everything together.  Always have, always will. He’s my soul mate.  My life after life partner.  The beat in my heart.  The love of my life.

Mark's awareness bracelet
Mark has always supported me, stood by my side and cheered me on through many obstacles and not once turned away. We’re both there for the other no matter what.  Like the past 3 weeks, which sometimes feels like we time warped and other times like an eternity.  Mark has been with me every step of the way and so far has done the following:  research and more research; handling all the finances and insurance (as usual); rearranged the living room so that I can sit in the recliner close to him and can see the TV when we watch movies; bought me a post-surgical mastectomy camisole so I will be comfortable while the drainage tubes are in; bought me survivor stickers, awareness bracelets, hat and more and sent me sunflowers, my favorite flower.

I won’t be alone in the hospital either as he’s spending the night with me.  I told him that I really appreciate that, but he should sleep at home to get a good night’s rest.  Besides getting a look of “are you nuts?”  His exact words were “I am not leaving you alone” and also how he wouldn’t be able to sleep without me, etc.  I just didn’t want him to be uncomfortable trying to sleep in a chair.  However, I found out yesterday when the pre-op nurse called that I’ll be in a private room which has a sleeper.  When I told Mark, I got the “ha ha, I won!” from him – which I knew was coming, but that’s okay in my book.

1994 - office pre-wedding party
Well, tomorrow is a new day. A day of hope and courage as they say.  I know it won’t be easy, but I am strong, positive & motivated, surrounded by my loving and supporting sons, family and friends - and have the love of my life by my side, as always.  So there is nothing to worry about.  Guess that’s why I feel the way I do.

Peace & Love, Rocki


Sharon said...

You are an amazing inspiration and you have a husband that is equally amazing. Your blog brought tears to my eyes, but good tears. You have such an amazing life and this is just a little bump in the road. I will be thinking about you tomorrow, and all through the weekend. Please have Mark keep us updated. Hugs and love to you! Sharon

Carol- Beads and Birds said...

Your strength and our prayers will keep you strong during and after surgery. Did you feel the power of prayer today when my friend and I remembered you. Our prayers will be for you tomorrow and the days after too.
Faith keep you safe.
xx, Carol

Mellisa said...

I'm usually a lurker but just wanted to say that you're in my thoughts. What a blessing to have the fantastic support system that you do, that combined with your attitude will carry you through this.