Moving Forward

Buddha Blessings - Beet of my Heart Green Smoothie, recipe below

Life truly takes us on an exciting journey with twists and turns abound.  My life, so far, has been filled with many of them - from good to bad to WTF... and everything in between.  And now, another one begins.

This is going to be an exciting journey!  One that I've been waiting to happen for many years, but just didn't know exactly what it was going to be.  Let me briefly explain...

For many years I worked in the corporate and medical world, then ended up horribly sick with CFIDS and could no longer work, let alone function at home.  Food, holistic medicine, Mark, family and my own perseverance (aka: never give up) is what got me well - even though it sneaks up on me sometimes.  Out of that sickness I discovered a talent I didn't know I had, which ended up as my successful metalwork career for the past 7 plus years.  I've had other medical blows and other crappy things happen in my journey, with the most recent one of early breast cancer (1 1/2 years cancer-free this month!) .  With each one of the blows, I eventually got back up, became stronger and continued on with life. Hence my nickname Rocki - as in Rocky Balboa which one of my docs had tagged me with years ago.

Moving forward.  The past few years I've told Mark how I wish I could do something more profound with my life that would help others in some way or another.  I had no idea what I wanted to do, but something that was close to heart.  He suggested for me to take the same nutritional class that he took as he loved it and said I would too.  While I thought about it, no bells went off.  Another thing to mention is that due to my wrists and arm issues, metalworking is not going to be a lifelong career for me. 

Sometimes when you stop looking for something, it appears right before your eyes.

It's going on two years since I became a raw foodist/raw vegan and I cannot express enough I very much I LOVE eating a clean diet and creating recipes.  My head spins sometimes with thoughts of what to make next!  I think I actually eat, sleep and dream it.  Mark sure isn't complaining, especially since he's my official recipe taster.  Well, so are our friends at SKW (his office).

I've always enjoyed learning about healthy eating and treating food as medicine. I have several books that I've read cover to cover, more than once and cannot seem to get enough knowledge.  In fact, my dad is the same way - not a raw vegan, but he sure loves his raw veggies!  We used to talk for hours on end about nutrition, healing with food, etc.  Now we share recipes too.

Okay, so let me get to my next journey in this life that I'm going on or else I'll just keep writing and writing about how much I love my raw vegan life!  Two things that I'm extremely passionate about and are close to my heart (besides family of course) is my Buddhist path and my raw vegan healthy lifestyle.  Well, this could not be any more perfect for me as I'm now enrolled in the Body Mind Institute to get my Raw Nutrition Certificate!  After that, I'm going to take a course to become a Raw Vegan Chef!  After that, I don't know.  I'm leaving the door wide open.

To manage my class and studio time, I'm going to work only part-time in the studio as that is the only way I can achieve my goal.  Yes, I do actually have a goal in mind as to where I want to be in a couple years and with perseverance, I will get there.

Moving forward.

Peace and love,
Rocki

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Here's the smoothie recipe that is in the picture with Buddha:

Beet of my Heart Green Smoothie
2 handfuls baby spinach
1 small beet
2 bananas
1 cup strawberries
1 cup hemp milk (or milk of choice - adjust as needed)
1 Tbs flax meal (optional)
1 Tbs maca powder (optional)
1 Tbs raw vegan protein powder (optional)
optional ice if you like a cold smoothie like I do :)

Blend, pour, be thankful for the little things, and enjoy.

Full Circle

Life has a funny way of teaching you things in a variety of ways.  For instance, from the time I was a young girl all I wanted was big boobs.  Why?  Maybe it's because society always portrays women as more attractive with big boobs, or boobs period.  I don't really remember why at such a young age I felt like that, but I always had negative body image issues.  

One day while playing cards with my family, my uncle asked me what I wanted for Christmas.  I told him "big boobs!" He and everyone else belly laughed so hard it made me cry.  I believe I was around 10 years old then.  I'm sure you're surprised too, but I did not wake up Christmas morning with big boobs.

During my teen years on up, I was teased with the name "Flatsy Patsy", both at school and home.  I hated it, but didn't speak out about it - just sucked it up and laughed with them.  I actually blamed my sister for me being so flat.  Even though I'm much older than her, I told her she got what I should have had and then some!  We called her "Dolly Parton" for good reason, until she got a breast reduction.  Apparently big boobs are a pain, but I still wanted them.

After having my boys and getting older I got a little bigger, but not like what I wanted.  I SO wished I could afford to have a boob job.  It seemed like every magazine I looked at there was a perfect model figure with big boobs staring at me.  Oh and don't even get me started on bathing suit models! 

Years go by and I still felt the same.  I used to tell Mark if we ever won the lottery that I was getting a boob job.  He would always tell me that I was perfect as is, would love me even if I had nothing, and that I didn't need to have surgery to change the person I was (gosh I love him to pieces!).  Even though I appreciated that, I hated my body and I dreamed of looking different.

So then last year I was hit with breast cancer and boy did that change things.  Puts a whole new perspective on what's important in life.  I'll skip everything else about that part as this post is about me wanting big boobs.  Like, FOREVER! 

A bilateral total mastectomy was immediately scheduled.  Back up... prior to the biopsy diagnosis, besides researching what we could online, Mark and I discussed every itty bitty detail about what was going to happen.  Even though the doc talked to me about it, there was not a single moment that I even considered breast reconstruction, for a variety of reasons.  Mark didn't want it done either and was happy with my decision.  I love that man!

Funny.  All those years of wanting and wishing for bigger boobs, life, in a mean way, gave me an opportunity (for lack of better wording).  I didn't take it.  I didn't want it.  I'm truly happy with my decision and have honestly never looked back.

Rocki - the new and improved Flatsy Patsy!

So here I am today.  Full circle.  Back to being flat as a board (flatter actually) and you know what?  I am happy being me in my own skin. I don't need boobs to define me as a woman.  It's who I am inside that portrays who I am on the outside.  I am more confident and adventurous now than I have ever been in my entire life!  I wear what I want, do not hide from the world and, respectfully, I don't care what people think.  It is my body, not theirs.

Even though I used to want big boobs, I've always HATED bras and only wore them when I had to.  Now I don't have to mess with them ever again.  Oddly enough, I feel free to be me.  That's one of the many things breast cancer has taught me.

While this was my decision, I understand that not all women feel the same and that is obviously okay.  Every woman has the right to choose what is best for her, no matter what it is, and I salute them.

Peace and love,
Rocki

Be Happy Now

Ramblings & Possible New Name Or New Blog

Happy Friday everyone!  Just a bit of ramblings today. 

I changed my profile avatar from the above pic, which was taken this past Sunday, 23rd.  The other one was from about 2 or 3 years ago, so figured it was time for an updated picture.

My dad and Yolanda, his girlfriend, came over that day and we had a fun and enjoyable visit.  I made some of my raw food treats and healthy snacks for them to try and they loved it all.  Yolanda especially loved my zucchini "cheeze" roll-ups... she ate the very last one with a big grin on her face!  I sent them home with what was left: persimmon pie, "fudge" and "not meat" balls - all raw of course. 

Mark and I exchanged a few simple gifts this year and mine were centered around the kitchen - which I wanted and he did an AWEsome job!  His were movies and a PC game that he wanted, so he was happy too.  We sent all the kids a little green stuff, which made this year's shopping painless and very easy.

We received gift cards to PF Changs & Starbucks from the kids, yum!  Oh and the gift that brought tears to my eyes was from my daughter-in-law... a set of writing pens.  I know... pens made me teary?  They are Breast Cancer Awareness pens, but I it was her sweet note that got me the most.

Christmas day Mark & I went to the movies to see The Hobbit.  One word: awesome!  If you're into The Lord of the Rings, then you'll LOVE it.  Can hardly wait for the next flic!  Oh and it was a long one... just about 3 hours.  I took snacks, a green smoothie and bottle water with us, but Mark splurged on popcorn and his $1 drink with his Harkins cup.

After the movies we popped on over to my brother's house for a fun little visit and gave our little nephews their gifts.  Kids are so fun to watch at this time of the year :)

One other rambling before I go.  I'm thinking of starting another blog for my raw food.  I cannot express enough how wonderful I feel inside and out since going raw - plus after almost 52 years the end of this month, I finally found my passion!  I've thought about changing the url name of this blog for a long time now since it doesn't even fit anymore, but I think that might mess up all the other posts or links.  I don't know enough about that part, do you?  I already have a second blog for my handmade jewelry & findings, so guess a third one won't hurt. Still playing around with that idea.

Well, guess that's enough ramblings for today.  Hope everyone had a beautiful Holiday or Christmas or just hanging out doing nothing day.

Peace,
Rocki

p.s. I'm lovin' the type of tops I'm finding that have a little gathering to them, sort of hides what I don't have.  NOT that it bothers me one little bit.  I just like them because they are cute and doesn’t appear to freak people out as much.

Inspiration Friday

Here it is, Friday, the day we live for.  Okay, that's not entirely true.  In any case, here are some words of inspiration that have helped me along the way.

Peace & Happiness,
Rocki

Fun New Years Day at the World Zoo & Aquarium

Mark & I went to the World Life Zoo & Aquarium on New Years Day.

It was such a beautiful, sunny warm day that we just had to spend it outdoors.

My all time favorite is the monkey and this little guy was absolutely adorable!



It was a leisurely walk around the zoo park, and we were surprised that it wasn't crowded at all.

It's always fun watching the kids, especially this little gal while feeding the hungry giraffes.

I love the aquarium there.  It's nothing like Sea World or being at the ocean, but nice all the same.  Big variety and lots to see.  I would love to hold this teeny tiny blue Tree Frog, but they are on the dangerous side. 

You can't help but smile while looking at this little frog! 

My pics didn't come out the best as I was using my phone camera.  I wish this one did because he is gorgeous!  A beautiful black and white Ray.

I took a lot of pictures that day, but these are just some of my favorites.  I'll be posting the rest to my Facebook page soon.

Peace and Happiness,

Rocki

The Little Things - Quote

Positively I can!

We all do it from time to time. You know, let negative thoughts take us over. When that happens, take a deep long breath, exhale slowly, smile and simply tell yourself:

May your days be filled with happy POSITIVE thoughts of all the things you CAN do!

Peace to you,

Rocki

Life is like riding a bicycle

You're never too old to find your balance.

♥ Rocki

Inspiring Quotes

Yogi knows best

My little guy knows what he's talking about - trust me.

Happy Monday!

Rocki

Tranquility

Positive Motivation

Peace,
Rocki

Happiness to Me

I can honestly say that I am truly happy with my life, but of course there is always more room for happiness.

What is it that makes me so happy? Well, not to sound like a cliche', but it's not money. Money truly does not buy me happiness. In fact, sometimes the more you have them more problems it can create.

For instance, I had an acquaintance recently ask me why don't I hire someone to help in the studio so I could take on more work and make more money. Um... more work? No. I value my personal time and already work very long hours. More money? No. Uncle Sam gets enough of it already. Besides that is not why I'm working, I work because I thoroughly enjoy it - plus I'm not materialistic.

So what does make me happy? Here is where I find my happiness:

- being healthy. I've come a long way over the past few years and am thrilled to be where I'm at today!

- my boys. I love them dearly and watching them grow up and become the respected men they are today makes me proud to be there mom.

- my hubby. Mark is the love of my life, best friend, soul mate, rock and my life after life partner. I'd be lost without him.

- Buddha. I enjoy this path that I'm on and am inspired in every way and every day.

- my family. As dysfunctional as we may be, we have fun times when we get together.

- my 'kids'. Yogi, Maelyn & Sasha - my little fur babies who make me smile, laugh and love to cuddle up with.

- the sun. Feeling the sun on my face and the warmth on my skin puts a huge smile on my face.

- water. I'm an earth and water gal and need to be near water. I also drink several gallons a day

- okay, maybe not "several", but close.

- sitting on the beach, walking the beach, in a boat, on a boat, in the water, on the water... well, you get the idea.

- sight seeing. I enjoy visiting new places, taking pictures and just enjoy nature as it is.

- dark chocolate. I must have at least one tiny square a day - keeps the doctors away :)

- dreaming. Dreaming of possibly moving to Florida where my brother lives. Not that the "grass is greener..." but this is something we're pondering.

This is just a small list of what makes me happy. What makes you happy?
Peace,
Rocki

Where's THE Rock?

Wow. I never knew I was so popular (blushes). I've had several requests via email and my (uh hem) previous blog post, to come out and play and stop hiding. Trust me, I'm not hiding actually, I've just been extremely busy with multiple orders from my supply shop. Oh and I'm not complaining one little bit mind you, so please do not think I'm being ungrateful, as this is not the case. It is just that I'm rather buried in orders so I cannot come out to play this week.

So, with that said, where IS the Rock? Obviously that is not me above, but it is a very cool pic I found on the web and since I LOVE rocks, I had to use it for this post. Besides, the rocks are balanced on one another and that is exactly what I'm trying to do - find my balance.

Ooooh. No, this is not me either. It is The Rock; Dwayne Douglas Johnson. Former wrestler, talented actor and one hot dude (sorry honey, you're hot too though :) There is also Rock Hudson (one of my favorite long time actors with Doris Day!), Chris Rock, Kid Rock and others.

Nope. Not me either, but is a very cool movie! This would be the School of Rock starring Jack Black, obviously. The kids in the movie actually do play their own instruments and they are amazingly talented. If you love music, this is a must see movie. There is also The Rock with Sean Connery (mmmm), Rundown (has The Rock in it) and others that I just can't think of at the moment.

So where IS Rocki anyway, as I've been asked. After having my morning coffee, breakfast and doing other little tasks to get ready for the day, you can find me in my studio until evening. In fact, if you look reeeeeeeal close, you'll find me below:

Did you find me? It's kind of hard, but I bet you can do it! Good job - you did it! So now that you know where I am, please do not think I have not forgotten about you, it's just that I'm terribly busy and need to focus on my orders this week. I do plan on checking out all your blogs in the next few days. In the meantime, please know that you're in my thoughts.

Be well, be happy and enjoy your day!

Rocki

Oh and one more thing...

I couldn't let this picture go to waste, so for your viewing pleasure I leave you: The Rock.

Vacation is over :(

Maeyln, Sasha & Yogi were all so happy to have Jeremy home again. Even though they have their own bed that they sleep in (their own couch that is), while Jeremy was home they slept with him in his bed.

It goes without saying of course, but I love having Jeremy home and am looking forward to his next visit! I'm not going to go into all the mushy details because my eyes will water more than they are and then I won't be able to see to type. I'm his proud mom, so you can only guess how I feel. Oh and while he was home I made him two Sterling Silver band rings and forgot to take pictures of them! Ugh!

Jeremy went back to Portland on Sunday (sniff sniff, boo hoo) and I'm not the only one who misses him. Maelyn continues to sleep in Jeremy's bed on his pillow (I still need to put the futon up, but not yet). Each night at bedtime we always tell our 'kids' good-night and every night so far we find Maelyn all curled up on his pillow. It's the cutest and saddest thing ever!
I finally got the pictures from the lake downloaded and need to send them to Jeremy. They aren't the best quality as I used a disposable camera, but it works. Oh and I love that we can get CD's made when you get your pictures developed!

The lake was a blast, we all took turns in the big water tube and race car tube that Chris has - so much fun!

The family knows that no matter what the occasion, I ALWAYS bring my camera and sometimes I take too many pics, but heck, I love keeping memories on film as well as in my heart. My boys know that my "just one more picture" quote is like saying "in just a minute" and I know it gets old for them, but what can I say - that's just me :)

Above, Laura is showing my boys, Jeremy & Jason, a picture she took of the both of us prior to their arrival at Jeremy's surprise birthday party. She had put tin foil (shivers!) on her teeth to make it look like she had braces (since I now wear them) and we both smiled real big - it was pretty funny. My sister. I think I'll keep her.

Happy Monday, er, I mean Tuesday!

Rocki

Oh and if you're interested in seeing me kick Mark's but in boxing, check out Laura's blog :)

Weekend of Happiness

This weekend was so full of happiness that I have a permanent smile on my face. When looking for a picture to post, I found the above which we should all truly take to heart.

So what was so special? I'll just list the main ones, otherwise this blog will turn into my first full length novel (and my friends know how I can ramble on):

1. Went to Danny's Pet Scan results doc appt. - miracles do happen! His lung cancer shrunk 90%!!! Even the doc was amazed. Danny is going to continue with chemo, but the doc changed the dosage due to the severe reactions it caused. Our 7 hour days will now be 3 hours due to the change. Yes, we were told that we still have to fight, he's not cured & there is no cure, and that his life span is short, but we're not going by that - we're just going to continue on with each day as it comes. Nobody can predict the future. We had a very nice celebration dinner right after we left the docs office. I'm still full!

2. Jeremy, my oldest son, called to confirm his plans for his trip in 2 weeks! I can hardly wait as it feels like it's been forever since I've seen him and it was *only* last year. Way too long for me! He arrives on the 14th and is here until the end of the month :) Yes, there will be a blog about his visit :)

3. Mark bought me a laptop - my first ever! I didn't think I would really need one as I have my own PC in our office, but wow... this is cool (I'm typing on it right now while sitting on the couch having my morning coffee!) I'll be taking it to Danny's chemo appointments (he has his own :), trips, outings, etc. This rocks!

4. We celebrated my Dad's 67th birthday at Laura's house (67 on paper, 30 something in life). He knew about the party of course as he was doing a lot of the cooking as well. He LOVES to cook, BBQ, grill, bake, make his own BBQ sauce - you name it, he does it. He's an Arizonian Emerill - BAM! A surprise was in store for Dad. My Uncle Bob from California came down to surprise him. Dad was in the kitchen when Bob called his cell and talked to Dad like usual - then Bob walked in the house while still on the phone talking. Dad finally looked up (while still on the phone) to see Bob standing in front of him! BAM!

5. My supply shop is taking off faster than I expected and I am more than thrilled! With each sell I make, I feel so very blessed and am grateful for each and every one! My biggest seller, so far, are my Signature Elfin Earwires. In fact, I woke up this morning to a return customer's sell & convo that she is submitting an earring design to a magazine - using my earwires!

Blessings have been pouring over me these last few days - must be my good karma ripening.

I wish you all peace, love and much happiness.

☼ Rocki

Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzz... POW!

Holy squirrels Batman! I have been FAR too busy... busy as a bee in fact! The one thing that I try NOT to do is over scheduled myself and yet I did. Life happens.

So what have I been up to? Do you REALLY want me to list everything? Do you have that much time on your hands right now? I didn't think so. Lets just say that I feel like I'm on the receiving end of POW!

My apologies to all my buddies for not visiting your blogs this week :( however I will surely try to do so in a couple days. Tomorrow I take Danny to chemo, so I won't be home all day and then Friday is the opening (fingers crossed) of my second Etsy shop. Oh, minor little detail here. I'll blog more about that one next Monday, but here's a little hint: handcrafted metal supplies.

Okay, need to get my butt in gear and start my day. Thanks for your understanding and I appreciate you all!

Peace and zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz,

☼ Rocki

Silver Smiles

I won't go into all the boring details of my dental issues prior to my orthodontic appointment yesterday, but I don't mind saying that I'll be a 'metal mouth' soon (insert cheezy grin).

Unfortunately, I put off far too long getting my own teeth fixed because I've been pretty busy. Okay, to be honest I'm not so found of dentists - too many bad experiences. Okay okay, so it's the drill (shivers), the pain, the yucky taste and the drooling afterwards.

It's funny when I think about it, plus Mark even comments that as much as I brush & floss my teeth, how on earth can I have dental issues. Oh no, I have no cavities (smiles), but due to a botched root canal when I was 13 I ended up losing my back molar. That is what I *thought* caused my teeth to shift and such. But yesterday I discovered that my "extra tooth" (my 'snaggle tooth') I was told I had by a dentist in my 20's, was in fact NOT an "extra tooth" after all. That dentist ended up removing it with 2 other dentists. Yes, THREE dentists standing over me pulling out my poor little snaggle tooth - ouch, I still feel the pain!

Anyway, so that tooth, combined with the back molar (both on the bottom) are the culprits. So now after all these years of putting it off, making sure everyone else has been taken care of, listening to Mark tell me to just do it, and yes being somewhat of a chicken, I am now getting them fixed properly.

I'll be wearing the Damon System Braces for 24 months and on August 11th and I will be smiling silver. I won't mind one single bit (grin).

I bet this was more information than you cared to know. At least I didn't show you my photo shoot!

Cheeeeeeeeeze!
☼ Rocki